the Awesomw God Song | Reverend Chris

This is a religious parody song I wrote about God. I think it’s funny & hope you enjoy it. It should be sung with a peppy upbeat style.

chorus:
Our God is an awesome God.
Just look at the things he’s done,
& you’ll know he’s number one.
Our God is an awesome God.
Just don’t piss him off,
or he’ll kill your first born son.

MAIN SONG:
When the people in the world,
weren’t acting very nice.
God called upon old Noah,
& said “take my advice”.
Just build yourself an ark,
get the animals two by two.
I’ll flood the freaking’ planet,
& kill everyone but you.

repeat chorus

Now Sodom & Gomorra,
were quite the party towns.
But everyone was naughty,
there was too much sin around.
God told his good friend Lot,
“get the hell out of this place”.
I’ll burn up all the people,
& rub salt in your face.

repeat chorus

Now listen to me people,
pay heed to my advice.
When Jesus came the first time,
he was pretty nice.
It wont be like that next time,
a new attitude you’ll see.
He’s gonna kick some ass and,
really mess up you & me.

repeat chorus

Who Will Cast the First Sermon | Reverend Chris

I am writing some sermons, they are meant to be taken as opinion, though I doubt you religious nuts will see it that way. So don’t go telling me about how these stories are taken out of contest. That excuse is a lame attempt for you to justify a religion that is based on lies. I used to be just like you; I went to church regularly, read the stories & listened to the sermons. I believed. But when I started acting rational & asking questions, I always got the same answers: “it’s Gods will”, “we are not meant to know”, or the best one “have faith”.

Faith can only get you so far & when it runs out all that is left is the truth. A truth that reveals the religion I once believed in was a sick scary lie. There have been more atrocities, murders, & horrible crimes committed in the name of Christianity that anything else. Throughout the bible there are horrifying stories of mass murder, rape, torture, slavery & other despicable acts committed by Christians in the name of God. Context? The true context of the bible is an instruction manual for every perverted act man can think of, carried out in the name of God.

That is not my god.

reverend Chris

New Ten Commandments | Reverend Chris Church of Truth

The New 10 commandments:

I believe most of the original commandments are outdated or just plain ridiculous. Who, these days, carves images of gods or worships multiple gods?

I have come up with my own rules to live buy. I think they work better in these modern times.

  1. Do not kill another human. Do not kill animals except for food or survival, never for sport.
  2. Do not steal.
  3. Do not lie.
  4. Honor your family above all others.
  5. Do not judge your fellow man.
  6. Do not amass great wealth for yourself, share with those less fortunate.
  7. Treat others with respect & kindness.
  8. Do not have sexual or romantic relations with children.
  9. Do not force your religion or beliefs upon others.
  10. Obey the laws of man, when they do not conflict with these.

Here is the ORIGINAL 10

“And God spoke all these words, saying: I am the LORD your God…

  1. Thou shall have no other gods before me.
  2. Thou shall not make for yourself a carved image.
  3. Thou shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
  4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
  5. Honor thy father and thy mother.
  6. Thou shall not kill.
  7. Thou shall not commit adultery.
  8. Thou shall not steal.
  9. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
  10. Thou shall not covet your neighbors wife, nor anything that is thy neighbors.

My problems with those commandments are as follows:

#1 #2: does that include Jesus, because a lot of people seem to worship him or the cross.

#4: Do you have to go to church? It just says remember it, not “Go to church”.

#5: But, do you have to obey them? What if their rules conflict, or are just plain dangerous?

#6: What about bugs? Cows? Rats? Self-defense?

#7: So, if you aren’t married you can have sex with as many people as you want? I have no problem with that.

#10: Come on, you can’t not do this. Everyone wants something that someone else has, as long as you don’t break #6, #8 or #9 to get it, what is the harm?

How to Fix the World

It seems like everyone is trying to stick it to everyone else, never content with what they have. War & violence are in the news daily, so much so we have become desensitized to it. It seems there is nothing or no one to fix our problems, until now. Though many have tried in the past to rebuild our world & transform it into a better place, they have all failed.

But where all the others have failed, I will succeed. I know how to fix the world & all of its problems. I know how to stop all of the wars & violent acts toward mankind. I know what it will take to accomplish a great society & I am going to share it with you now.

It is really very simple, so simple that I cannot believe no one else has thought of it. Or if they have, they have not shared it with enough people yet. Here it is, step by step.

  1. Go into your bathroom.
  2. Look down at your sink.
  3. Now look up.
  4. See that person staring back at you in the mirror? That’s it.


All you have to do is change that one person. You don’t need to concern yourself with trying to fix anyone else. If you change that person, and everyone else follows suit, then the world will naturally be a better place. What about the bad people in the world? Just concentrate on step #4 & you will be doing your part.

Will this change the world? It will if everyone does it. Will they? Heck no, but wouldn’t it be a great thing if they did? I am going to do my part right now. I am going to be a better person no matter what everyone else around me is doing. I am going to treat people fairly & with love & compassion. I am not going to engage in negative things or activities that will hurt others in any way. Even if someone else treats me badly, I will still treat them right.

This will not be easy; we have all been trained from birth to behave the awful way we do. So, it will take much work & commitment to break the bad habits society has placed upon us for so many years. It will be a struggle, but one that is worthwhile & just. One day this will be a better place, I truly believe this. But to get to that point we all must start with the mirror. Good luck & much love!

the Right Religion? | Reverend Chris

There are so many different religions in the world, how do you know which one is the “right” one? Simple: They all are. And none are.

There are a lot of elements from different religions that are very good for mankind. There are equally, if not more so, bad elements. Remember Jim Jones & the poison Flavor-Aid? How about the Heavens Gate suicides? Or the Crusades? These atrocities all took place in the name of religion.

Killing in the name of [insert deity here], is still killing. There is no way of getting around that face. The commandment reads “Thou shall not kill.” It doesn’t say it’s ok if the people won’t follow your views. It doesn’t say it is ok if it is for a religious ceremony. It is pretty clear.

There has been more turmoil over the simple name of God, than almost anything else. I believe that God does not really care if you call him God, Buddha, Jehovah, Allah, or any other name man has thought of. If God is omnipotent, then what would that matter? Something so trivial would not even enter into the equation. God, no matter what name we call him, would not concern himself with a name. I seriously doubt that such an entity would even require a name at all.

It is that reason that I believe all religions are correct in the belief in a supreme being, a creator of everything. I also believe that they are mistaken about the details of such a being. Such a thing would, in reality, be completely incomprehensible to normal men. That is why we have made up so many different versions of the same truth. Truly, how could we ever write about something that we cannot even understand? Until we pass on to the next world, we will never understand these things.

So, trying to assign a religion to them is a fruitless undertaking that we will never get right.